Sure they are handsome and wholesome and every other good and perfect quality. But these are things to admire, not internalize. There is something there, though. A quality in the veins of every HGTV show that is both alluring and revelatory. Something about this channel makes us want to watch its programming over and over again, connecting us to humanity on a visceral level. And more importantly, what it reveals. We crave beauty. Every one of these shows starts with a property that is outdated at best, in disrepair at worst. Houses with teeny tiny rooms, dingy hallways, dilapidated exteriors.
And what do they do? They tear down the walls and create an open concept living space — light, airy, sunny, spacious. Beautiful, comfortable freedom. Tall ceilings, clean lines, light colors. A beautiful space that makes you want to relax. We marvel at the before and after shots. We cheer the open concept. But most importantly, we delight in the redemption.
To take something forgotten and downtrodden and make it beautiful again — that is the fantasy. We await the partner that is willing to work with us, on us, to create something beautiful.
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What we want and what we fear are close neighbors. To achieve the breathtaking outcome we must embrace the current state. The landscape of our lives is, well … compartmentalized. Spaces we keep cornered off and hidden from other parts. The walls are thick and rigid. The air is musty. Sunlight is minimal. Rarely do we let people see all of us when we open the front door. We are deathly afraid to have the demolition.
Afraid to bring down all the walls.
It terrifies us. We crave acceptance — not rejection — at that critical juncture.
I love every part of you. Even the parts that are under construction. We want someone to witness the breaking and putting back together. We want someone to marvel at the beautiful thing we become. And yes, we want them to work alongside us as we become this beautiful thing. Total acceptance. Joy in the journey. Anticipating the outcome. HGTV has taught me many things. That killer biceps are a result of scrubbing bathtubs.
And that sometimes, real estate agents are glorified marriage counselors. Photo by James Barr on Unsplash. Men are freaking incredible. As a female, I feel relatively alone in this assertion. Overall, too much negative talk about men. Let me tell you what I absolutely love about masculinity. Men are present. And how they encourage me to do the same.
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How they take control of things. I love how they know exactly when I need a back rub. Or a bar of a chocolate. Or a soft touch on the small of my back. Masculinity wants to please, desperately, and they do this with their presence. And it is marvelous. Men are protectors. Men who saw children, the most vulnerable of our society, in trouble and took massive action to protect them. They protect me when it comes to who I date. Men are providers. Men are willing to take dangerous jobs, jobs that many women do not take, in order to provide for their families.
These are primarily jobs in infrastructure: fishing, logging, iron and steel, construction. These are decent, hard-working men, who risk their lives daily to provide for their families. They have my utmost respect.
- Blog Archive.
- Susan Rohrer?
- My Soul To Steal (Soul Screamers, Book 4).
- Sonja Parker.
- In the Land of Dreams, Part 2.
Men provide for me in small ways. They pick up the dinner tab. They lend me their jacket when I am cold. They order me an Uber when I need a ride home. They show up to help me move to a new apartment — 4th floor, no elevator, in the pouring rain. Most importantly, they provide a safe container to air my thoughts, which later, germinate, and become my dreams.
But ladies, can we be a bit vulnerable and admit that it feels good being looked after? Let me address one more topic of conversation that has been bugging me: men in the workplace. My biggest workplace cheerleaders have been men.
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The few people who have encouraged me in my career, mentored me, and coached me have been men. At my previous job, my director actually created a new position for me. He had to push hard for it. He had to have some difficult conversations with senior leaders to make it happen. He spent his own relational capital to get it done. Because it was the right thing to do. The vast majority of men want to see women flourish, including at work. I see the sky. So then why. Why are men suddenly suspect? Some men do stupid, mean, conniving shit.
Well guess what. Some people are jerks. No need to make sweeping generalizations. No need to criminalize an entire gender.
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Ladies who put down masculinity, I have a question for you. What is your end goal? What a chilling thought indeed. We need men. The kind of world I want to live in is one where no one is suspect simply based on their gender, a world where all people have an equal opportunity to succeed. This includes men — our husbands, our sons, our male co-workers and friends.
The essence of masculinity is the taking of responsibility. Masculinity is marvelous. And until I see evidence to the contrary, I will continue to believe both of these things. Hello, friends!